I remember sitting at my desk, finishing my personal balance sheet for my tax return. A very normal day. I added up the numbers and looked at the bottom line, and I froze.

My pen slipped right out of my hand and hit the desk. Because what I saw was this: I was not far from bankruptcy.

I remember thinking, "How is this even possible? I'm an accountant. I understand money. I advise people on this every single day. And yet, here I am."

What I saw next changed everything.

I had been making financial decisions that didn't include me.

And I said yes often in between meetings, in pressured moments, without actually checking in with myself first.

When money was tight, I still made sure the creditors were paid. The staff were paid. Everybody else was included. Except me.

I felt it in my body. Right here in my gut. That tight, sinking feeling. And if I'm honest, there was shame there too.

But underneath the shame, something got very, very clear. It wasn't just that I had messed up. It was that I had left myself out.

And once I saw that, everything made sense. Because the real question underneath all of it was:

After everything I've given… what's actually left for me?

To start including myself in every financial decision that affected my money and my future. Not perfectly. Not overnight. But consistently.

It was not always comfortable. The first big shift was learning to say no. To friends. To family. To always being the one who brings the really good wine, or quietly picks up the bill.

I used to automatically step in. Now I pause. If it doesn't align with where I'm going, I let it pass.

And here's what changed over time:

• I no longer have a personal overdraft.

• My credit cards are settled before they're due.

• My bank account actually stays in the black.

• And I've started building my investment portfolio.

But more important than any of that: I don't get that jolt of tension when I look at my numbers anymore. I'm not bracing for debit orders. Once a month, I sit down, I review my investments, and I do it calmly.

That, for me, is the real shift. Not just what the numbers say, but how it feels to know that I am finally included.

I can still be generous. But now it's a choice, not my default setting.

I’ll send you a short Financial Self-Check you can use

before making any decision involving money

So in those moments where things feel a bit urgent or unclear

you have a way to pause, include yourself, and respond from a steadier place.